Before Kennedy, I used to see parent with their children and think, "Wow, I want that." As I reflect on those feelings now I realize how naive I was. I had no idea what they had and could never know unless I experienced it for myself. I saw that they were happy and I had heard them try to explain the complicated mix of ups and downs that parenthood is and speak with love and anger at the journey. I myself had played part in this drama in the role of a daughter, but even then I could only know my side and my feelings.
Now I am a mother and have begun to taste the fruits for myself. I have my moments when I feel like screaming or crying and my moments when its all I can do to keep from hugging my child to death. I laugh at her silly faces and kiss her tiny toes. I worry, I wake, I pray and I work. My life is more complicated now with car seats, feedings, diapers and nerves and yet infinitely simplified with love and family. Tim and I have come closer together and yet sometimes we barely see each other with her interrupting needs punctuating our short time alone. But at the end of the day there is joy. The joy I saw in the face of those women, but more than I could ever understand.
1 year ago